Time Spent Doing the Things I/We Don't Enjoy

It's that time of the year when the final exams are on and I am all concerned with acing the tests (which to me is getting more than or equal to a 70% overall). I devote like 10 hours a day to studying exactly two months before the exams begin. Of course to the ultra nerdy, and often ultra introverted, students, 10 hours of digging into their books wouldn't seem a big deal, but for someone like me, who detests the whole education system (not learning, mind you), it is a big deal, and it feels like drinking milk (which I utterly detest in it's plain liquid form).

While studying the ultra boring, yet simple, subject of Psychology at Work (Psychology majors would disagree to it being boring but then it's my opinion and it's my blog), my concentration began to fade two minutes into beginning to reading the first page, and soon I was thinking about something else: the time we spend doing the things we don't quite enjoy.

I remember hearing “A man's got to do what a man's got to do,” from some movie and then I knew what the guy meant. “A man's got to do what a man's got to do” in no way is the same thing as “A man's got to do what a man wants to do.” And therein struck realization.

We all do (yes, I am generalizing) quite a few things that we don't like or enjoy. We do them because they have to be done. For e.g., I have to dig into what seems to be countless textbooks, with a white back ground and black fonts, just to get a pass certificate required by employers to show off my worth (although I must say, when you laminate the certificate, it does look pretty decent filed up).

We (again, I'm generalizing) want to do so much, but in order to do it, we do things that we not necessarily want to do. For e.g., I want to be a business man, but for that I must do two things: study (often study subjects I don't want to just because there's no sufficient option) and work under someone (in order to gain some experience). Of course you could skip studying traditionally and just do it on your own, read a few books and call your self “smart” but then getting a business loan, with your credentials being almost zero, is not going to easily happen. Also, you could just jump into a business without zero experience and learn from that, but then that's more like running your marathon with no real practice.
Mostly, I guess, we do those things we don't quite enjoy because in most cases we feel it contributes to forming a big picture. These little things (which sometimes take forever to do) seem like small pieces of a puzzle, a puzzle when completed will, or at least is expected to, delight us. Or in some cases, we just don't realize the alternatives, or do not have the guts to do what we do like doing, settling for something else instead, and this is disappointing.

So, again... what this post is all about, is just me simply wondering to myself, how much time of my life am I going to do things that I don't quite like and why.
If we (yes, once again generalizing) ponder long enough, we can generate a long list of things we would do instead of doing the things we do do (which is very true in my case), but then it's not necessarily a bad thing. From the way I see it, I feel it's alright to keep doing something you don't quite like, if and only if, it contributes to the big picture. For example, studying hard Psychology at work (you can't be blamed for assuming I can't think of other examples) because it's an easy subject and will help me push my grades up, which in turn will give me a good educational backing. However, doing what you don't like just because you're ignorant to the alternatives, that's pitiful.

Thoughts on Getting Older

I've lived 22 years now on this planet. 22 years may sound like a great deal of time at any other job, but when it comes to living life, 22 years doesn't sound too “old” at least to me. I decided to write about aging and my thoughts today as it would fit perfectly into the mood.

I solemnly believe that as a kid you wish to grow old and as an adult you wish you were a kid.

The irony of life is that it gives birth to death. Not many take serious note of this fact.

I think the biggest difference that's occurred in me this year is the realization of the value of time and focusing on what I want from life. That's what I've done this whole year. Sit, read, listen, talk and imagine all with the purpose of driving towards my ultimate goal as such. I've cut down the gazillion goals I've had and am focused now on just one – setting up of the FJM group.

People as I've noticed aren't so focused. Growing older doesn't quite directly imply that you'll focus on something more. Rather, growing up just clouds everything and you tend to get more dispersed than focused. It takes effort to stay focused. It takes determination and constant working. That's the hard part I feel. Just saying you want to do something isn't quite enough. It's a good start but working to get there, that's what's focusing is all about.

Working to get “there” has made me realize the value of time. As I read in a marketing book, value must be placed more on time than on money. Time is money and not the other way around. This year has made me realize the value of time, and to appreciate it the most. Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't “waste” time so to speak. People around me would tell you I watch the TV, get on hours on the internet, hear music, sleep longer than necessary, etc. and hardly “study.” But then what I mean by realizing the value of time is realizing what you want to be and set out a “plan” or a schedule. That's what I've done this year – set up a plan, a schedule to get where I want to be. Now I know many that'd say that planning is a wasteful activity, but then I believe that having a plan is much better than not having one. At least you know the where, when and how.

Also, growing older gets me afraid. I look at the changes taking place around me and so many things keep chaining. When I was smaller those huge brick like phones with antennas on them used to cost big bucks. Today they're no more produced and touch screen phones are available at costs much less than that their ancestors cost at time of their introduction. Looking at my granny and my parents has got me to realize that someday I'll be them, and that someday technology may be just too complex for me. The thought of getting outdated is scary.

Another thing I've observed is that Aging gives an opportunity to gain wisdom and knowledge. At birth we're born ignorant of everything. But the process of gaining knowledge and wisdom starts from the time we come out of our mothers and that process is expected to go on till we take our last breath.

A last thought about getting older. Getting older on the on hand feels nice. I feel empowered. I feel smarter. I feel as though I can grab hold of more opportunities. Getting older does feel good. However, on the other hand, being a kid seemed so much fun too. I didn't need to be empowered. I didn't need to be smart. I was taken care off. As a kid, I had zero responsibility and 100% ignorance – a magical, mystical and seductive combination. Sometimes I truly feel I could trade everything I have right now just to go back and be that kid. But then we all know that's not possible. The past was great fun. The present seems a content life, much differently lived from that of a kid but then one has those moments where you act kiddish and live care free life, and if you know me, you know I have a load of such moments. It's moments like these that keep me happy even though I keep growing older.

Think Big. That's what they used to say.

Most successful people would tell you to think big. They don't tell you (in books, articles, etc.) to think of opening that one food outlet by the street, instead they tell you to think of opening a national or even international chain of food outlets. Of course we all know (we as in both successful people and people like myself who are just staring out) that you just can't open up that international chain of restaurants, instead you have to start out most probably with that one single outlet somewhere locally and build up.

The bottom line they stress on is to think big, think big and figure out how to get there within a set frame of time.

I am a big thinker. I think about owning a global bank, real estate firm, investment firm, education institution, and so on...

When it comes to thinking, here is what I've observed: The world (generally) loves to encourage thinking big in your younger years, and tends to discourage you (more often than not) thinking big as you keep getting older (say about high school onwards).

As a kid, I could go on and on telling people that I wanted to be an astronaut, a scientist, a doctor, a “rich man”, etc. and people around me would smile and say, “nothing is impossible Floyd, put your mind to it and you'll be what you want to be.” This encouraging acted like sweet music to my ears and I developed the habit to think big/dream big.

Skipping forward to present times, now it's a different scenario. I still dream big, think big, that's remained the same. But the people around me instead of encouraging me tend to discourage me. For example, when I tell Nana that I want to own an investment firm and be one of the best fund managers in the world, she goes like “Don't count the chickens before they hatch. Go and study and get a job to start out with.” However, at about the same time my 8 year old cousin calls up and tells her he wants to be the best magician in the world, she says “Yes baba, you can do it!”

For some reason, generally speaking, the older you get the more pessimistic most people become. Hell, the older you get the more pessimistic you become. I have no clue why, but optimism gets replaced by negativity/pessimism. Suddenly, the world becomes this hard place where nothing comes easy and it's almost impossible to beat the odds. Again, we all know this fact. But what I fail to understand is why people mostly give up or give in to such thinking instead of saying something to themselves continually like, “nothing is impossible, I just need to be smart and persevere.”

It's no wonder then, with such pessimism or such a skeptical outlook that is ingrained in the masses, passed on from one generation to another, that you have so many of them struggling to just make it out of the rat race.

I have to be frank here. The odds of me owning a bank, investment firm, real estate firm, restaurant, etc. seems so very not in my favor, but then does that mean that I must give up the thought and settle for something less? It is much better to play it safe, to get in amongst the herd, instead of just giving greatness a shot? Does it mean that I must stop dreaming?

I hear people telling me “don't just dream, do something” and those people I take note of for two reasons. The first reason being, they're right in saying “do something,” for doing is much harder than dreaming about doing it. The second reason being, they act as a good source of “motivation” fuel.

It's time to end this post. In the end I'd like to say, keep thinking big, keep dreaming. Of course you have haters and doubters all around you, but if your heart/subconscious/that inner voice tells you something, you're better off following it (or gambling on it) rather than just having it irk you every so often. Don't listen to people that want you to be like them. Don't be amongst the masses if you don't want to be amongst the masses.

“Think Big, Dream Big.” - Donald Trump (I guess he practices what he preaches).

Winning and Losing/ Winners and Losers

The world basically divides people into two groups – winners and losers. Anything you do, you are judged in the end either to be a winner or a loser. You end up either winning or losing.

What got me writing this article is thinking about the difference in the meaning of winning and losing growing up (during my school days) and the meaning of it now (observing the real world). I'd like to share my thoughts with you, the reader.

Growing up, at school, winning was all about being number 1. Either you were number 1 and special or you were like the rest – think of it as number 1 being the shepherd and the rest being the sheep.

As a very young kid, I and other “bright” kids used to get those small colored stars for doing something right and that made us feel special (snobbish). I remember rubbing it into the other kids teasing them with a “hey, I got a star, did you get one?,” knowing perfectly well they hadn't. They'd try screaming something back but I was just too high off colored stars to get gloomy.

As I got older things slowly but steadily began to change for me. Few of those kids that got stars in their younger years continued to do so as they got older. I on the other hand slipped down into the abyss filled with kids with disgraceful marks. I drifted way way down and from A+s and A-s I was getting Ds, Es and sometimes Fs at tests. Slowly but steadily I was being pushed back to the other group, the not so bright group, and I got hints from teachers that I was a loser of some sort, a nobody, a not so bright child.

High school got things more messed up. It was soon boards time (9^th,10^th,11^th,12^th) and each year everyone was gunning to be that kid that beat everyone else. There now wasn't a group of winners, there was just one winner – the number 1 student. Everyone else were losers so to speak right from number 2 to number 20,002. No one actually cared if you came second or third or fourth or fifth because, simply put, you were not number 1. Often I got those 2^nd rank and 3^rd rank kids saying to me, rather rudely and sometimes subtly, “I beat you chump,” but that didn't anger me for I used to just tell them “whatever, you ain't the best so we're in the same boat.” That angered them even more. It all seemed like a rat race – a race wherein 99.999whatever% of us were doomed to lose and just one person was going to win it all.

The scene at sports was the same (at least considered the same way). The number 1 guy got that big trophy, while number 2 and 3 got those medals that looked like a $1 gift compared to the number 1's $1000 trophy, and not to forget the rest of the pack that got some sort of recognition, which never was quite comparable to the number 1's prize.

I was never quite the number 1 at anything growing up (except maybe dreaming). Every teacher kept telling me and kids like me that we were destined to grow up as failures and be nothing other than cheap laborers or worse unemployed, poor and unhappy beings. Being told that didn't feel good at all. However, I always felt there was something wrong somewhere with such a concept of winning and losing, but I didn't have the slightest clue of it. I and kids like myself had hope, but then along with such hope came a disturbing thought of not being a winner. What made it worse was that our track records were just confirming our greatest fear – the fear of being nothing but a loser.

Next came college and an understanding of the real world (which came through reading books and observing random people during my “lazy” hours). I soon found that “something wrong” in the concept of winning and losing taught to me in my younger years. I soon realized that winning and losing are relative. This changed everything. I felt like I had just woke up from comma. I felt old (physically, age wise) but that the same time I felt new (mentally, since everything had some how now changed). The world now was a whole new place with new meaning. What was best is that after coming to know that winning and losing are relative, hope was restored. Let me explain.

As said before, growing up I was told that you either are number 1 and destined to be something great, or you were going to end up a loser, a nobody that was destined at maximum to be ordinary. However, with the realization that winning and losing are relative in nature, I could be number 2 or 3, hell I could be number 2003 at something, yet be influential and successful. I took examples from the world's best and that gave me hope. For example, Bill Gates may own Microsoft and have 95 % of the operating system market but no one thinks one less bit of Steve Jobs. Yes, you can argue that Bill Gates is number one, having a bigger company, but does it really matter, for both of them are very highly respected, influential and successful. Take another example, even though Michael Jordon's got 6 rings, you still wouldn't find Karl Malone all in the dumps. He's still got respect and admiration, maybe not at Jordon's level, but then no one thinks of him as a loser. He's far far from it.

What's most important is that these not number 1s, yet successful (in their respective fields) people, think of themselves very highly (which is most important). They understand that yes, they're not number 1 yet, but what they do know is that they all are winners. And that's what I mean when I say winning and losing is relative. And it is this that gives us all hope. Hope as in, yes you may not be the best at something, yet you can be successful at it. And that's great news especially knowing that there can be only one best.

In the end, winning and losing comes down to trying your best with dedication. My teachers were right in some way when they said I wasn't going to be number one (at academics or sports) for I simply did not care much about being a winner (at that time). All I cared about was just doing okay, getting by and that was what “losers” do – settle for okay, or mediocrity. Winners keep trying to improve and innovate. Winners keep trying to outperform their competition. They may not always be number 1, however, they always try to give the number 1 a run for their money.